Singapore to elect its Ninth President through a nationwide Pokémon GO tournament

Following amendments to the Constitution of Singapore, the 2023 presidential election is to be reversed for the “very best like no one ever was”.
Following amendments to the Constitution of Singapore, the 2023 presidential election is to be reserved for the “very best like no one ever was”.   Photo: The Straits Times

SINGAPORE: The Presidency is, by the rules of 2017 social conformity, restricted to candidates from the minority groups of Singapore. The upcoming Singapore presidential election of 2023 will be no different.

Following the eligibility criteria which effectively promoted racial bias and circumvented democracy back in the 2017 presidential election, the Presidential Elections Committee (PEC) vowed to make the 2023 elections better. And they have not seemed to disappoint. On Monday (8 July), a constitutional amendment to the next election was announced.

Chairman of the PSC & PEC Lee Tzu Yang who will be in charge of organising and hosting the 2023 Presidential Election addressed the amendment at a weekly Pokémon Go meet-up session. Mr Lee said, “Singapore is all about defying expectations. If you thought that the presidential elections can’t get any more absurd, watch us defy your expectations further.”

Section 3 Clause 4.2 of the new amendment described the newly implemented electoral procedure. It stated that “Unlike the previous, the next president of Singapore will have to be the very best like no one ever was while still being able to keep the appeal of having minority representation.”

Excerpt of the Amended Constitution. Photo: VOCALIS

In Singapore, Pokémon GO players are regarded as a minority. Furthermore, seeing that the winner of the tournament would indeed be the “very best like no one ever was”, the new amendment had made perfect sense in picking Singapore’s ninth president.

Some in the Pokemon Community, have voiced support for the new amendment. Mr Gary Oak, an avid unemployed Pokémon GO player was one of them.

“This is indeed the perfect way to elect a president. Truthfully speaking, all the president has to be good at is shaking hands. The secret to a good handshake is a strong thumb muscle, something that every veteran Pokémon GO fans possess as we swipe our social lives away with the thousands of poke ball thrown at digital creatures on our smartphone screens.”

In a press conference today (July 10), current president Halimah Yacob appeared unshaken by the new amendment and viewed this as a chance to prove herself worthy of her position.

“I am confident in my mono-fire team, especially my level 36 Ninetails which once went toe to toe with Malaysian PM Najib Razak’s Slowpoke.”

The PEC has announced that the next presidential election would begin mid-June 2023. They are hoping that the Pokémon Kalos region patch would be in the game by then. Singaporeans of all different age, race and religion have begun expressing interest in running for the election. Based on recent Facebook analytics, an estimated 10,000 candidates are expected to run for the position.

The 2023 election is expected to be a turning point in the history of Singapore. Some social commentators have even expressed that they would not be surprised if a 10-year-old child turns out to become the next president. All, however, agreed that this would be one of the few, if not the only time where true equality will be practised in Singapore.

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